blog entry

I Have Let You Down

As I have a few new readers, (I'm as amazed as you, trust me) I feel it necessary to make sure you guys know that gardening isn't GARDENING, at least not in the literal, dirt under my nails, dirty way. I grow nothing (Well, LEO grows....nevermind), I don't till soil, nor do I expect to eat what I plant. Hee Hee. Again, not literally, with fork and spoon, anyway. Gardening is my secret code name for sex. Doin' it with my husband. My loyal followers, I have let you down. I skipped the gardening yesterday. Not on purpose, mind you, but I didn't fight for it, not like you would've expected me to. My apologies. Leo was scheduled to come home late from work, therefore I took that opportunity after putting spawn to bed (read the 10 minutes I have to breathe without being bombarded by "Mom! MOMMM! MAMMAAA! I Want a.... Can I have a.... Mommo!" AND before I switch to halfway decent wife mode) to take a shower. Now all my homies who are down with the sexperiment KNOW that when I have taken the time to turn on the water, wash my junk AND shave (yes, yes, y'all, I gave it the full treatment) that I mean business. I MIGHT even have placed the feathered dog collar by the bed JUST to see what would happen. MIGHT HAVE. Anywhoooo.... Leo came home and actually wanted to eat dinner first. Keep in mind I didn't propose anything, I guess I just automatically assume that if I look cleaner than usual he'll understand that I am locked and loaded. Uhhh.... so we sit in the media/cinema room (i.e., we watch the tube in the living room while he eats.... the other just sounds cooler) and watch the final episode of The Next Food Network Star, mostly because I envy Lisa Garza's head shape, haircut and wardrobe. Suddenly, I hear this strange humming sound, and am about to ask Leo if he has left on one of his save the world Inspector Gadget gadgets, when I realize that sound is coming from his FACE. My man is asleep. My feelings weren't hurt, as I knew already that he had slept all of 3 hours the night before. I just HATE like hell that I wasted that shower.....