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Renee CK

writer, editor

I'm a fun girl who's on a quest to figure it all out. I'm cynical but living the dream- I'm not sure how that happened exactly. Follow along in my blog for fun, mayhem, and merriment. There's never a dull day!...

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What is Love?

baby don't hurt me

My husband and I are fans of ABC’s The Bachelor or Bachelorette, depending on which season it is.  Of course, we’re caught up in the drama of this season which is especially interesting for us because the Bachelorette, Deanna Pappas is from another Atlanta suburb.

The interesting thing about this season begins in a previous season of The Bachelor where Deanna was one of the two at the final rose ceremony. She had put herself out there and fallen in love, but Brad the Bachelor was not in love with her.  The wrath of the Greek Gods burned behind her eyes.  It really was quite impressive how she held herself together.  So now, here she is with her turn whittling down 25 guys down to one who will love her forever.  There was one, a basketball player, who seemed to have it wrapped up.  They couldn’t keep their hands off each other in private, well, save the time at the park where he wouldn’t be just one of the guys to kiss her that day.  He was one of the 4 to take Deanna back to his hometown to meet his family and get some real insight into his life. There his own mother told Deanna that he has a problem letting people in.  Another standoffish evening sealed his fate- he was denied a rose at the next ceremony.  Now she’s down to two really good guys, one a pro snowboarder who is her age and has taken a friend to romance path and the other a dad of a three year old son who is sweet to the core.  

In order to get to the two from 4, she’s broken her own heart and the heart of a guy who she called “perfect”.  On paper he was everything she wanted and he fell in love with her.  It left me wondering why I was still watching this.  It’s heartbreaking to watch a guy who had played by the rules of love get put into a limo because the rules of the tv show that introduced him to the person he fell in love with. 

And as in seasons before, she’s got chemistry with the final two.  She is going into the last day unsure of who’s marriage proposal she’ll accept.  Isn’t love weird?  

To be sure, love takes everything out of you.  I’m not sure how to take that.  It takes a lot of trust to open yourself to someone to the point that you want to be with them.  But it’s a huge risk to do that.  When you get in further, you begin to learn some not so pretty things about people. These things might run you off.  The dad on The Bachelorette was nervous about telling Deanna about his son.  It could have possibly ruined his chance at love.  Every season has had it’s divorced person.  

Is it any wonder why we celebrate true love?  It is so great to find someone who knows you, who you can be yourself with but it takes a huge risk to get to that point.  Knowing what kind of risk it takes, why do we treat people with failed relationships as failures?  Even if you were in head-over-heels love with someone in your younger days, hopefully you’ve grown since then and maybe you are not the same person you were when you met.  It happens in friendships all the time.  Quick, name all the college friends you’re still close with...noooo, I mean have on speed dial, kids on the same soccer team close.  Welcome to the real world.

I hate to seem so cynical.  It means that finding “the one” may be a fruitless search and if you do find him or her, it’s almost magical.  

Love sucks folks.  And that’s coming from someone who’s marriage has grown in it’s 13 years.  It’s ongoing work.  And there is no promise that tomorrow is going to be the same.  The bubble can burst right from under you. 

But, you can be sure that when the new season of The Bachelor comes on, I’ll be parked in front of the tv with hubby.  I guess it just shows how lucky those of us with a good thing going on are and gives hope to those who haven’t found it yet. 

Enjoy!
Renee