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MissAttitude
Freelance Writer, Blogger, Web Producer and Adjunct Professor
I'm a professional woman in my 30s who's spent the last 13 years working in TV news. I love shoes, shopping and blogging. I also have an advice column. In the name of full disclosure I have to admit I don’t have a background in psychology, unless you count that one college course freshman year ...
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Am I jinxing myself?

Friday, June, 6, 2008

Do you ever feel like you're tempting fate by getting too excited about something? Well, I do. I don't consider myself a hugely superstitious person, but sometimes I really think I jinx myself. For years I've felt that it's best not to talk about anything until it's a done deal. And whenever I don't follow my gut about that, I usually don't get what I want. So that has me asking, is it possible to jinx yourself or was it just not meant to be?

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When it comes to dating, I've always tried not to talk about a guy I'm interested in until I know it's going somewhere. When you get too interested too soon, you wind up having to tell everyone it didn't work out. Or when you think he's about to take you on a romantic date, you rush out and buy a new outfit only to learn a short time later he's cancelled. So now the feeling is magnified when it comes to the job search.

I know everyone means well when they call right after one of my job interviews to see how it went. I know they're just being supportive.  But quite frankly I don't like talk about it over and over. I don't want to get my hopes up or jinx myself. In the past three months I've probably only interviewed for a couple of jobs I actually wanted. But after each interview, I left with a feeling of incompleteness. During the course of my career, I've always known when I nailed a job interview and the interviewer is going to hire me. At my last job, my boss offered me the position right in her office during the middle of the interview. So I'm a pretty confident person. And intellectually I know that talking about how an interview went didn't lose me the job, I really never had it to begin with.

But still, there's just something about the feeling I can't explain. Maybe it's not actually an issue of jinxing myself, but of convincing myself my gut feeling isn't accurate. Because in all of these interviews my gut feeling was I didn't get the job, despite the fact that I was extremely qualified. So I think I'm going to learn to keep more of this process to myself. It's not that I'm not interested in sharing or that I want to hurt any of my friend's or family member's feelings. I just need to do this for myself. Besides it really is difficult enough to be unemployed as it is without worry about explaining yourself to everyone else.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

www.missatttiude.us

 


alorinna
alorinna
Posted Fri, 06/06/2008 - 08:31
I always cringe when I catch myself saying "Maybe it will be a quiet night", wondering if I have doomed my pager to wake me up 2 hours after I have fallen asleep.
4 times out of 5 it stays quiet, but that 5th time always makes me think I jinxed myself.
I know that in reality, my spoken words do not affect the stability of a database server across town, but still... :)
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http://www.alorinna.com
MissAttitude
MissAttitude
Posted Sat, 06/07/2008 - 21:11
You just reminded me of a positive thing about this layoff.. not being on call and having to answer employees' calls during all hours of the night/morning. Thanks!
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
www.missattitude.us
ReneeCK
ReneeCK
Posted Fri, 06/06/2008 - 10:51
I think this ties into The Cool Broad's idea about not talking too much about yourself- a practice which I'm really trying to work on.

Maybe it's just my latest attempt to try to let things "be"- develop how they will, see where things go, and not have to have my say in it...it's gonna happen anyway and when it's ready to be talked about, the person will talk.

Here's a new vocabulary word that might help in your new resolve- nunya. All encompasing. NUN ya. None of your business. "How'd the job interview go?" "Nunya. I'll keep you posted." "How was that date with Romero?" "Nunya. I'll keep you posted." Sure, it comes across as rude, but when you're ready, they'll know!
MissAttitude
MissAttitude
Posted Sat, 06/07/2008 - 21:06
Today I told one of my friends "I don't want to talk about it." And she said okay and we moved on. Of course I still have to work on saying it more often because three others asked and I launched into explaining the most recent job interview and what I thought. Baby steps I guess.
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
www.missattitude.us
NV
NV
Posted Fri, 06/06/2008 - 11:55
about the job search that really plays tricks on the mind. You'll have an educated, competent, intelligent, [insert other positive words], etc. etc. woman and yet another employer has decided not to extend an offer, she isn't even sure if this is her dream job, family/friends are concerned and asking questions...ugh. I am employed but am still scarred by the experience and remember it all too well. Your jinxing theory kind of goes against the whole "law of attraction" hype of attracting whatever you "think" into your life, and I'm not sure how it applies to intuitive, gut forces. I do hope when you find "the one" you'll have butterflies and won't be able to contain your delight! Good luck!
MissAttitude
MissAttitude
Posted Sat, 06/07/2008 - 21:09
It really does play tricks on your mind. For the few recent rejections they all said I was qualified, but decided to go with someone else. It's hard enough to swallow when you weren't even sure you wanted the job in the first place, but then explaining it a dozen times or so doesn't make you feel any better.
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
www.missattitude.us