blog entry

Coupons...or my life story?

I recently received a nice little pack of coupons in the mail from my supermarket-of-choice, Kroger. You know the ones…they’re customized based on purchases you’ve made (purchases they keep track of when you use your Kroger/Ukrops/Piggly Wiggly card).

And as I opened the envelope to see what little gems they sent me, my girlfriend (who was mooching a cup of coffee at the time) leaned over and said, “This should be interesting…let’s see what your coupons say about you.”

Huh. I’d never thought about it that way…but if you read my coupons like a book, you’d probably come up with something like this:

I’m a woman in her child-bearing years (Playtex tampons) who uses way too many paper towels (Viva), loves pickles (Vlasic), ice cream (Breyers), Mexican food but not cooking it (El Paso dinner kits), has frequent headaches…or kids, take your pick (Advil), kids…or a husband who still won’t eat the crust off of his sandwiches (Smucker’s Crustables), excess body hair (Venus razor), and apparently quite a few butts to wipe (Cottonelle moistened wipes – economy size refills).

Well…not terribly flattering, but if I’m being honest, pretty accurate (except for the pickles and ice cream - I’m NOT pregnant). And actually, it was kind of fun (no, not pregnant but obviously easily amused).

And now that I think about it, I do (on occasion) glance at the grocery cart in front of me in the checkout line and try to ferret out the life story of the person it’s attached to: single, cat-loving bachelor (pasta, jar of marinara sauce and kitty litter), busy soccer mom (popsicles, go-gurt and lunchables), or young, skinny vegan (soy milk, avocado and Boca burgers).

Even though it’s not politically correct to generalize, that private investigator wannabe in me finds it entertaining and at least it keeps me from reading the gossip rags while I’m waiting to be rung up (because who really wants to worry about “Shilo’s lonely world”). Pu-leeze.

What story do your coupons tell about you?

~tcb