blogger profile

Brooke Ilene Snyder

Sales Development Associate/Writer

Hello friends! I am originally from a small town in Massachusetts and have been living in CT for over a year with my fiancé. A bit about me: I am a spirited and sassy 27 year old recently engaged vegetarian part time grad student dog loving aspiring writer who enjoys “good talks” and people...

READ MORE

Connected

Crystal has bouncy red curls and giggles when she smiles. She exudes warmth and her free spirit is inspiring to someone so planned. I’ll never forget the first time I ran into one of my cousins at the hospital. It had been three years since we last talked or saw each other. My parents, sister, brother and I were moving to Florida and a bunch of us had gotten together for what I remember as an awkward send off dinner. I had forgotten what it felt like to be around Crystal in the same space. Our small family had been divided over a falling out between my mother and her brother. To this day, the details of the fight are a blur but standing there in that stark white hospital room, I felt my guard come down. I made a conscious choice: to get to know my family and let the past live in its place. Why spend your time holding onto anger when life can change at any moment? At the time, our Papa was really sick and dying. Little did we know that in losing him, we would gain a whole new perspective on a fresh start. Our family managed to come together slowly to rebuild what we once had – only this time it would be different.

We weren’t always this estranged. I spent my childhood sneaking into my aunt and uncle’s van so that I could sleepover their house after a family party. I wanted to be like my cousins, sporty and care-free and I wanted more than anything to be liked by them. We happily shared jeans and styled each other’s hair. We spent summers traveling to Cape Cod and New Hampshire. They gave each other nick names and I remember coming home and asking my mother, “what are we?” We went to each other’s soccer games and dance recitals, but seeing their trophies made me feel second string. My sister had broken my pageant and “most improved player” trophies that sat somewhere in our basement. Somehow I always compared myself to my cousins. Their house was bigger than mine. The drawings I drew could never be as important as the goals scored or the poster size picture of my oldest cousin Nicole pitching a softball. My dad used to tell me that I threw like a girl. If Nicole had a boyfriend, I wanted one too. As the oldest in my immediate family, I needed to feel that my interests mattered. I needed to feel that I mattered.

As we got older, I went off to college in New York while my cousins remained in Massachusetts. We all started coming into our own, with work and with serious relationships, but the holidays were spent separately and while we may have wondered what the other person was doing, none of us tried to get in touch.

Then the inevitable happened. It was March 2007. Our Papa had passed away and we all gathered at my Aunt’s house to put pictures of him on a board for the funeral. Mostly, we had to come together to face what we had lost but, we weren’t really aware of what we were about to gain. I was so nervous the first time we were altogether because so much time had past. Would this invisible competition continue now that we were adults? Would I be good enough? I walked in and was immediately embraced, much to my surprise and relief. We each held each other for a long time and cried. It was surreal being there because I kept thinking that my Papa would be sitting in his favorite chair with some crumbs on his lap wondering, what’s all the fuss about?

For me, part of my struggle with being close to my cousins the way I always wanted came from believing my grandparents favored them. How ridiculous. Of course this wasn’t true – it was something I created in my own attention-starved head. I was only eight years old, but it’s truly amazing what feelings stay with you into adulthood. These negative feelings can get in the way and prevent you from enjoying close relationships and living life to the fullest.

Our connection runs deep because we come from the same. Since regaining closeness, we’ve openly talked about the past and discovered how much we have in common, not to mention that we can spend well over the normal amount of time with each other and still have things to talk about. I have friends and family who I can take “in small doses,” and then my energy is zapped. Family is most important to us, along with living a healthy conscious lifestyle.

Just like I was set on finding my soul-mate, I wanted a group of girlfriends to just connect with at ease. My cousins had been there all along, it just took a little time to find each other.

I know our Papa is so proud of how we’ve come together. He would not have wanted it any other way.