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Angel08
I am Angelia Vernon Menchan, woman, wife, mother, mentor friend. I have been employed as a Budget Officer for many years, but my altar(sic) ego is as a writer of 'Fictionalized Truths.' Since, January 2006, I have written and self-published six books through MAMM Productions, my own publishing compa...
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Don't Be Scared!

Angelia Vernon Menchan

Tuesday, September, 2, 2008

Fear is the great debillitator, will stop you dead in your tracks, if enough fear is in your heart, you will be unable to love, trust, grow, live...to your fullest...

I was raised by a woman who I thought fearless, and in many ways she was, but she had a fear a lot of women had, the fear of not being loved, for who they really are, so, many times she settled for what was dressed up like love, though sometimes the clothes weren’t pretty....it’s that old, you can’t be all you can be and get love too...

I have had my own battles with that, being a classic overachiever, no on really saw it, I always had pretty good jobs, carried myself well, never really let them see me sweat...kind of thing, but I KNEW, because there was always this churning to do more, not necessarily to earn more money and certainly not for more accolades, but something wasn’t quite what it should be, I wasn’t living to my fullness, I was controlled by my own fears...

My fear of doing better than people I loved, my fear of being considered selfish, only interested in my own needs, and I had many who helped reinforce that notion, But, One Day, I knew it was time to cast fear aside, I was nearing fifty and knew that I needed to be honest with me, and to me, the kids were grown, my mom had died and I knew it was time to put fear on the shelf and be all I could be, I could write, I could mentor, I could disagree, I was ultimately in charge of me...once there it has been awesome...now don’t think for one moment, I don’t have fearful moments, some fears can keep you safe, but I have learned to only listen to my own voices in my head, because I know for sure that carrying the burdens of someone else’s fears is not condusive to really living...

Blessings!

angelia

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ycoleman
ycoleman
Don't Be Scared!
Posted Tue, 09/02/2008 - 10:08
I finally made it over here! Great post! xoxo yasmin www.apooobooks.com Promoting Our Voices, Showcasing Our Stories
Angel08
Angel08
Scary
Posted Tue, 09/02/2008 - 10:10
Thank Yas... angelia
ReneeCK
ReneeCK
Amen!
Posted Tue, 09/02/2008 - 12:18
I wish I wouldn't have let fear guide me in my youth. The voices of my parents filled my head when I chose a safe teaching career over an unpredictable writing one. Even then I knew that teaching wasn't fully in my heart, but it was a good thing to do.

15 years later, finishing up the work on my first contracted book, and happily sharing my knowledge with others via writing, I am glad I got to a place where who I am was stronger than what I was told I needed to be.
Angel08
Angel08
Amen, again
Posted Tue, 09/02/2008 - 12:40
Renee, we get there when we get there, so many never get there, they stay debilitated by fear, then bitter by the what-ifs... Smooches! angelia
poetic genesis
poetic genesis
Not scared
Posted Wed, 09/03/2008 - 06:32
It took me a long time to recognize that it really wasn't DRIVE that was pushing me to do certain things. And then when those things didn't turn out quite right or get finished, in hindsight, they were propelled by fear. Now, fear has no home here. And that's not to say I'll never experience it again, it's just that I know what questions to ask myself now...so the chances are slim that I'll be motivated by fear. Great post! Luv u G-Nice